Self-Care???

The Oxford Dictionary defines self-care as “the practice of taking an active role in protecting one’s own well-being and happiness”. I think this is an okay definition.

I define daily self-care as “taking time out of the day to recenter, recharge and proactively plan how to successfully accomplish the rest of the day not at the expense of yourself.”

I define a self-care routine as “a set aside time to participate in activities that fuel you in order to recharge and reset one’s mindset to one of calmness and gratitude.”

As someone who is majorly Type-A and an even tie between an enneagram 1 and 8, self-care isn’t something I ever really saw as necessary until last semester. Yes, self-care is a trend of some sort, and I understand why people promote it, but no one has ever really explained it or how/why they do what they do.

So here I am.

I’m sick of aesthetic yet unexplained trends that create a false sense of need. The reality of self-care is that my self-care and your self-care are going to look entirely different. Our self-care routines and activities aren’t going to look like the perfectly curated lives of social media influencers. It’s not always going to be yoga and taking a walk. It’s going to be something perfectly curated to you, your body, your mind, and your life. It is going to be realistic and healthy, for YOU.

All that to say, I do have rough draft self-care routines and I want to share them with you. Not for you to copy, but to inspire you. To help you curate how you’re going to pursue yourself today.

At the end of it all, self-care isn’t about what it looks like to everyone else, it’s about taking the time to slow down and pursue your personal well-being for a moment.

My first self-care routine I want to share with you are the little things I do daily to help myself not to get overwhelmed or burnt out.

1 Habits + Routine

There are certain things I do every day at a set time. For example, I always eat breakfast and work out after my first class of the day. Because I have this break between classes, I’ve got to do something to fill that time. Instead of scrolling my phone, being on my computer, or doing work, I let myself have that hour and a half to prepare for the day by fueling my body and putting it to work. Another example is my night-time routine. Every night around 8, when I’m finishing up homework and work for the day, I make a matcha. I drink it while I’m finishing up everything and then shut my laptop, do my skincare, and go to bed. These little routines throughout the day help me to wake up and wind down with something that is familiar, comfortable, and doesn’t stress me out first thing.

2 Alone Time

My parents have always told me that ever since I was a baby, I was the most extroverted person they ever met but as I got older, this has drastically changed. I do love people, and I do love being around people, but it exhausts me. I have to charge up to spend time with people and after I do, I need a nap. So, I take little alone time breaks throughout my day to keep my noggin on straight. Sometimes this alone time is running errands by myself, sometimes it’s working on schoolwork, and sometimes it’s going on a run. It looks different everyday but it’s something that is an absolute must for me.

3 Calling My Parents

This one here is sometimes a 40-times a day type thing. Whether I’m having a crisis or am eating lunch, I frequently call home just to chat. I know that I can talk about anything and everything with my parents and they will always give me honest and true advice, whether I want it or not. They will let me feel things, and they will help me figure out solutions. They will cry with me, and they will laugh with me. They will let me talk to my pets; this is very important. Calling home is recharging for me, it’s peaceful, it’s a therapy session, it’s fueling.

4 Scheduling Breaks

I used to not do this. A year and a half ago I would sit at my computer from the time I got out of class until 2-3 a.m. doing schoolwork. I didn’t give myself breaks, I didn’t stop except to get a snack or go to the bathroom, and I was only awake because of coffee. This was so bad for my mind and body. I lived in a state of exhaustion and my brain was always fried. I knew when I changed majors and was finally content where I was academically that I had to make one more change – scheduling in breaks. I now put 10-minute breaks on my to do list. For each hour of work that I do, I take a 10-minute break. Of course, if I’m eating a meal, I do not rush that and will continue working when I am done. I have found that this helps me to gather my thoughts for assignments, put my brain in the right category for tasks, and complete work much faster. During these breaks, I must completely stop what I’m doing, either just put my head down and rest or do something drastically different than what I was previously working on. No looking at what the next assignment is, no skipping the break, and no other kinds of work are worked on. Simply just a break.

Now for my “I’m so stressed and exhausted and need a recharge” self-care routine:

1 I Do It Alone

For me to really recharge from a stressful or overwhelming situation/time, I need to be alone. Anything I do, I do it by myself. Of course, if I go anywhere there will be other people, but those people aren’t with me, and I don’t talk to them. I must have this me-time to exit out of the 50 open tabs in my brain and find out where the heck the music is coming from. This time is strictly for processing with myself and Jesus…He is the only person allowed to come along.

2 Go Somewhere

I usually go to Thrift Stores or Target. Why? Because I get excited to go to these places. Most of the time I don’t even buy anything, just walk around, look at everything, and let myself have no requirements for a while. I people watch, I read the back of every book, and I read all of the ingredients in every skincare product. I make outfits with the cute clothes I find just to put them back, and I walk around as fast or as slow as I want to.

3 Turn It Up

When I’m in the car during this time, I listen to my most favorite songs, I turn the volume up, and I sing my little heart out. Whether it’s just an incredible song or it makes me feel understood—I’m singing along, I’m dancing around, and I’m probably using my water bottle as a microphone and pretending I’m on the last stop of my sold-out world tour. If you are ever next to me at a stop light and see this taking place, please know that I am having a great time, I am recharging, and then look away.

4 Head to Toe Shower

I don’t wash my hair every day, I always forget to shave my legs, and because I live in a dorm, I sometimes get scared that I’m taking too long in the bathroom to exfoliate. All those things go out the window on self-care days. I’m washing my hair and toning it, I’m using a hair mask, I’m shaving my legs, and I’m exfoliating all over. I’m doing my extensive skincare afterwards complete with eye patches, a face mask, and slugging my skin. I’m doing my hair care routine and giving myself a nice blowout too. I take a minute to take care of my physical body.

5 I Sit to Read and Listen

This is the most important and the least seen part of most Christian’s routines. It’s a daily thing for me personally but I also want to include it in my self-care routine. Everything I’ve talked about doing so far recharge either my physical body or mind. But at the end of the day, my soul needs a little reset. My hope needs a boost. My self-image needs a reminder of definition, and my mind needs peace. There is only one place I find all those things and that is Scripture. On these self-care days, I spend more time than normal and most importantly I sit in silence with the Lord. I lay down, I close my eyes, and I listen. I listen to the sound of the things around me, and I thank Jesus for them. I think about the incredible people the Lord has blessed me with and I thank Him for them. I think about my schoolwork and thank Jesus for the opportunity to go to college. I speak scripture over my mind and body to remind myself of their purpose and that they are called good. I worship the Lord through prayer and song. I let my hope be reminded of where it is rooted, and my soul be reminded of who it was created by. I let my longing for something more recognize who it is longing for.

To be honest with you, it is a vulnerable thing for me to share these self-care activities with you. These are the activities that I try to protect because I know they are things that bring me joy. Like I said before, I wanted to share some of my self-care activities with you because I want us all to remember the reality of taking care of ourselves. It’s not always aesthetic, pretty or organized. Have you seen the inside of a goodwill…it’s the opposite of organized (lol).

I encourage you to choose some activities to partake in the next time you’re needing a little self-care! Make a list in the notes of your phone so that you can remember your options!

I strongly encourage you to try out number 5 if you haven’t yet. There is no greater peace and rest than the kind that comes from spending time with the Lord. I have learned that I can participate in many activities, and take a lot of naps, but nothing truly brings me peace and rest like spending time with the creator of my soul.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Buying yourself some flowers is self-care too – oh and the candy ;)

Ttyl,

Carrie